My scripture memory for the first part of February it Philipians 4:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." I am not sure I have ever needed a scripture more! I am so anxious about Nick needing to find a new job soon (he accepted a voluntary lay off at Brown). We have no idea when his last day at Brown will be, it could be tomorrow or it could be 6 months from now! I don't know that I had to ever rely on God so completely for EVERYTHING! He is our ONLY hope right now. And, I am struggling so hard to not be anxious and just sit and worry all day!

BPA Free list

I found this list of BPA free bottles and sippies and thought I would pass along the link. I found it super helpful! The more I read and learn about BPA the more determined I am to limit my children's exposure to it! Bottles made with BPA are going to not be sold in many stores starting next year (which means that there obviously is a real threat!) but they will still be available through 2009 I believe! So, check out this link, http://safemama.com/2007/11/22/bpa-free-bottle-and-sippy-cup-cheat-sheet/
I bought the BPA free Avent bottles for Sophie. They are kind of expensive (about $9.00 a piece) but she liked the nipples on those the best and I thought the price was worth the peace of mind. There are much cheaper options out there though. I think the main thing to look out for is super clear plastic (but it is found in colored and opaque plastics too). I know the BPA free Avent bottles have kind of a honey colored tint to them because they are made out of different materials.

Anyway, I just wanted to share because I know it can be hard to know where to start sometimes!

Please pray

Well, we are still attempting this breastfeeding thing. Today I am kind of discouraged because Sophie is not very interested in nursing and with a very demanding 2 year old there is not a whole lot of time for pumping. But, I am still giving it a big effort!

Today my heart is very heavy for a woman in my MOPS group. Her niece is in the hospital almost peralized (she came down suddenly with a neuromuscular disease) that has been linked in several young girls to the Gardisil vaccine). There is a chance she will be paralyzed for life because of this. I am so angry. I am angry because I have done a lot of research on the Gardisil vaccine including talking to doctors and nutrtitionists about it and to me it seems like such a risky vaccine! What makes me mad is that schools are trying to require it and many doctor's already have it on their regular vaccine schedule. Gardisil has not been out long enough! We are putting our daughter's in serious danger by not doing our research.

It has been such a good reminder to me to do my own research first. I am the mom and am responsible for what is given to my children. I cannot just trust that everyone has my child's best interests at heart.

Anyway, please keep 11 year old Alicia in your prayers! Her parents were just trying to do the best thing for her and follow their doctor's advice.

Breastfeeding update

So, the last few days have been some of the hardest days of my life. I spent at least a few hours crying everyday dealing with feelings of guilt and remorse over not breastfeeding anymore. I was absolutely miserable. Not to mention increadibly sore and engorged from not nursing.

On the way home from church Nick asked me if I was doing okay and said that I seemed a little down. I burst into tears and told him that I didn't want to quit nursing. I LOVED nursing our daughter and had just made the decision to switch to formula due to a drop in supply and lack of sleep! Even with the formula she isn't sleeping better so I felt I gave it up for nothing!

Nick and I talked through everything and he reminded me that it isn't too late to go back to breastfeeding. So, I called and talked to a lactation counselor today and did some research and decided to try to get my supply back up and continue nursing! Nick is out right now picking up a hospital grade pump for me to rent to get my supply back up (my husband is AMAZING!!) I feel such a huge sense of peace and relief!

I don't want to make this sound like I think formula is bad. I don't!! I didn't nurse Max after 6 weeks and I felt very little remorse over it. But, with Sophie I really enjoy nursing her and it really works well for both of us. I just feel like I ignored my mother's intuition and was left miserable!

So, please pray for me in my endeavor to get my supply back up... where I should have started in the first place! I love you girls so much!

So hard!

So, today is our second day of Sophie on bottles! Breastfeeding Sophie these past 5 months has been one of the best experiences of my life! It is such a special bonding time and she was so good at it right from the start. But, as some of you know, my little girl was not sleeping at all. She was up about every 2 hours wanting to eat. It is really hard to say "no" to a breastfed baby because you have no idea whether or not they are hungry because you have no idea how much they ate at their last feeding. So, I was one exhausted mommy! I started supplementing with formula in the evenings because I was so desperate for just a little bit of sleep! Well, as anyone who has breastfed knows, supplementing is breastfeeding suicide! My milk supply totally plummeted. So, I was left with two choices, switch to formula or work my butt off trying to get my supply back up by pumping and taking supplements. Although I loved breastfeeding so much I opted for the first one. Although I am a little sad and dealing with some guilt over it last night was wonderful. Sophie only woke up a few times and quickly but herself back to sleep. NO NIGHTTIME FEEDING! Woo hoo!!It was amazing! Of course, I was up all night because that is what I am used to doing! But, we are making PROGRESS!

So, if you get a chance please say a little prayer for me today! Please just pray that I will feel peace about my decision to switch to formula and not feel guilty. Our amazing Heavenly Father does not call us to a life of guilt but of freedom in Him! Thank you all so much for all of your love and support!

I finally have a "life"!

As I am sure everyone who has moved to a new city can attest to, it really takes awhile to get settled in and get life back to “normal”. I feel like I am finally getting settled into life here in Lake St. Louis and I am really excited about that. I am really excited because I feel like I finally have things to do with my life on a day to day basis and it is really nice!

I am really looking forward to this “semester” (which is still how I look at life even though no one is in school right now!) I am still doing MOPS which I really enjoy and am starting to really feel like I fit in! I am also doing a women’s morning Bible study at the new church we are attending, and I am going to do a 6 week evening study at my cousin’s church with her. I also signed Max up for Kindermusik classes which is probably what I am most excited about!! I used to take the little boy I babysat to those classes and it was so much fun! So, I can’t wait to do them with my own little music-lover! I am also hopeful that Nick and I will get involved in a growth group at our new church too so we can really start meeting people!

But, with that said, I am SO GRATEFUL for the time God gave me to be alone a little when we first moved here. I am naturally a very social person so if there are people to hang out with I will be there! But, when I was given no option but to stay home day after day I learned SO much!! God has taught me so much about myself, my children, and my marriage! God really does give us seasons in life and he uses them! I feel so blessed and refreshed! Looking back on it I would not trade my 6 month social sabbatical for anything!

The most boring blog in the world...

And no, I am not talking about this one!! I started another blog to keep my eating and exercise log. It is mainly for accountability. I don't expect anyone to actually look at it but knowing someone might keeps me in check! So, if you ever want to check it out it is, http://shrinkingkatieramsey.blogspot.com/ but seriously, it is just a list of food so don't feel the pressure to look at it!!