My Greater Purpose

Ever since becoming a Christian about 4 years ago I have had a strong desire in my heart to do big things for God. How can you know who Jesus is and be saved by His grace and not have that desire? However, lately, as I am sure most of you stay-at-home moms can attest to, it is very hard to feel any purpose in my life!

Now first, let me put a disclaimer on that.... I LOVE being a stay-at-home mom. My husband and my son are the most important people and I know that nothing in the world is more important than investing in them full time. Which is why I said it is hard to FEEL like I have any purpose in my life.

In my head... I know I have purpose! We are making a huge sacrafice to say to God, our children, and the rest of the world that family is our main priority. I know that my being home full time and investing in them makes a difference, not only for them, but for God's kingdom. My child (soon to be children) get to hear all about God on a daily basis, have healthy home cooked meals three times a day, live with routine and consistency, and are entertained not by a television set or video games but by us and good books and carefully selected toys.

I know I could make a lot of money out in the work force and I am not going to lie, the money is appealing some days. Whenever people hear what my degree is in they ask why I don't work from home. I could work from home and make a lot of money doing so. But then, what? Park my kids in front of the televsion during the day and spend my evenings listening to my husband and little boy laugh in the other room. I might as well go sit in an office several hours a day.

But, I can't do that. My time with my children is limited. I only have them for 18 short years in my home and I need to give them my full attention. I am not bashing women who have to work. I know that there are some cases where that is necessary. And, some women choose to work and that is totally their choice.

But, I guess, sometimes it is just hard to see how this "sacrafice" has a greater purpose. Especially at the end of the day when all you have accomplished is two loads of laundry, a clean floor, wiped a nose 5 times, played Legos for an hour and a half, and read 32 books out loud it can be hard to feel like you are doing anything great for God. Or even, anything great at all.

So, I guess this is what I am struggling with right now... feeling like I have a greater purpose. In my head I know without a doubt that I am doing the most important work in the world and that this is what God wants me to do. But, I let the world get to me and tell me that if I am not doing 100 million things and am not frazzled beyond any recognition I am not serving a greater purpose.

"Father, you are an amazing God with amazing plans for all of those who love You. You know me and You know the desires of my heart and I am so grateful for that. Please help me to be content and patient and follow You. I know that what I am doing with my life right now is what You would have me to be doing. Please give me Your peace that I may know that I am doing the right thing and show me ways that I can greater fill Your purposes for my life. Help me to shut out the lies of the world when they tell me I need to "get a job" or suggest my current career is "temporary and that one day I will have a real job." Help me to be a better wife and mother every single day as that is what you have called me to do. Thank you for allowing me to do this very important work for You. I know that raising children that are sold out for You is a very high calling and I pray that You will help me to accomplish this task. I know that it will only be possible through you! Thank you for being a God who hears our prayers and allows us to struggle! I love you so much!" Amen!