Pondering my role as a parent

I have recently been pondering what makes a good parent and what my role is in the lives of my children. When I think about all of the people I know with great relationships with their parents one thing really stands out to me: their parents are their number one fan, always encouraging them, telling them how proud they are of them, even well into adulthood. The most secure and grounded people I know have loving and positive parents.

I have been so blessed in my life. I have always been surrounded by an amazing support system of people who think I am the greatest thing since sliced bread. My parents, grandparents, aunts, etc., have all been crazy about me since the day I was born. That doesn't mean that they have agreed with everything I have done or that we got along 100% of the time. But, they always sent me the message that I was loved and accepted.

I believe this is how God is with us. He loves us so passionately and so fully. I believe the relationship we have with our parents can very easily shape our view of God. I am not a psychologist, but it seems like a lot of people who I know that don't feel approved of by their parents struggle with understanding how much God loves them. They seem to never feel good enough and like they don't measure up. It seems like these are the people who tend to become pretty legalistic in an attempt to please. Adults who have never received the approval of their parents seem to be still wanting it.

I am not in any way saying that I do not know some increadible people who don't feel approved of by their parents. Some of the most wonderful, loving, and successful people I know have bad relationships with their parents and have always felt like they don't measure up. But, most of them have shared with me their struggle and insecurities because of these tainted relationships.

I desperately want to give to my children what my parents gave to me; a number one fan. I want my children to wake up every morning knowing that they are loved so intensely. I want them to go to bed every night knowing that their mom (and dad) think that they are awesome. Because, I believe that this translates easily into their relationship with God. I believe it builds a confidence that is hard to shake. And, I believe it gives us a sense of security that we can't get anywhere else. It is almost like we are wired to have our parent's approval.

So, in order to achieve this I must look at both positive and negative examples. What to do and what to not do. I think it is easy for some parents to be a little neutral with their kids and not say anything. They feel proud of them but don't express it. I don't think that does anyone any good.

I believe that this is totally different than saying, "I love you." Being loved and being approved of are so totally different things. Not to mention the fact that the word "love" is so overused it is almost completely meaningless in our society. Not, that we shouldn't tell our children that we love them! Mine hear it several times a day! But, that we need to go beyond that. The phrases I remember hearing most growing up that gave me the most security were ones like:
- you are awesome
- you can do anything
- I am so proud of you
- I knew you could do it
etc.

I guess I feel like it is one of my most important jobs as a parent to be a cheerleader for Max and Sophie (and my husband too!). And, I believe that this will give my children a leg up in life and in their relationship with Christ.

Taking off the pounds

Grrr... so I am starting to get to the point after having a baby where my weightloss is slowing down. Breastfeeding for me really helps loose weight... but it can only do so much. Right now I weigh a few pounds less than my weight when I got pregnant. So, all the baby weight is gone which is awesome. But, now I have to loose the weight I have been wanting to loose for awhile. I am hoping blogging about it gives me some accountability and helps!

My goal is to loose 30-40 pounds. My only challenge is that since I am breastfeeding I can't really restrict my calories too much or my milk supply will go down. So my main focus will be making the foods that I eat healthier options and of course exercising. So, here are my goals:

1. no more soda:-( (I LOVE soda so this one will be tough! But, since giving up diet soda for health reasons I just can't afford the calories, plus it has no nutritional value.)

2. easy on the carbs (when I was pregnant I basically let myself eat whatever I wanted, so it is time to reign it back in)

3. exercise (both cardio and strength training)

It is important for me to loose weight because I want to be healthy, feel good, and be a good example for my kids. So, I will update my progress from time to time on here! Wish me luck!

Peace and Quiet

Ahhh... I am just enjoying a little peace and quiet at 11:30 at night. My little Sophie is a wonderful little baby but she has really rough evenings. I finally got her to sleep... hopefully for "the night". She usually sleeps from 11ish to 5ish which is awesome!

Nick is back in Nixa tonight moving us out of our house. My parents went down with him to help which is just awesome. We are so thankful for them. We are set to close on our house on Tuesday. It feels like a huge weight is being lifted off of our shoulders. We were so blessed to have an AMAZING realtor working with us. We sold our house within about 30 days which is pretty amazing in this market. If anyone in the Springfield area ever needs a realtor definetly give Don Caudle a call. He knows what he is doing!

Today I took Max to the pediatrician since he had a really bad cough. I LOVE our new pediatrician and the whole office! The place is just totally centered around kids! The office is so nice and brand new and all of the staff is so friendly. The nurses were so sweet to Max who is going through a really shy phase. They showed him books and gave him stickers while they were taking his vitals. Then our pediatrician, Dr. Hanson, came in and was so sweet with Max. She let him sit on my lap during the exam and she sang Max little songs to keep him calm and distracted while she looked him over. It was so wonderful! (Note: Max just has a little virus)

So much has been on my heart lately that I have wanted to share on my blog but I just haven't had time to sit down and share it all (I wonder what I have been doing??) Even now as I sit here I don't know where to start. God is just teaching me so much lately that I can't even wrap my mind around it all. I am learning so much through my amazing and increadibly generous family. I am also learning so much through my children. It is amazing how God teaches us lessons about His character through people in our lives. I will try to write more about these things over the next few weeks as time allows!

My only "complaint" right now is my lack of time to spend with my husband. He has been a little stressed lately and we are just very busy having a newborn. Nick loves his job and living here but the reality of the move is starting to set in a little bit. He has pretty much lived in the same area for 26 years and getting used to St. Louis has been a little difficult for him. Change can be so hard. But, he is handling it like a champ! I am looking forward to Sophie being a few weeks older so Nick and I can go on a date and spend some one on one time together! I miss him!
Oh, here is a thought! I was watching Oprah the other day (on accident, it came on and I couldn't reach the remote because I was feeding Sophie). But, the topic was affairs and the "expert" was discussing affair proofing your marriage. The guy said that in order to affair proof their marriage couples need to:
1. affirm one another more often
2. have sex more often
3. have date night once a week where you do not discuss kids, money, or work
I think the one that suprised me most was not talking about kids, money, or work. Nick and I definetly fall into that trap a lot! But, it is such a good idea! So, Nick and I are going to try to take some time every week to have "date time" since we can't really go out and talk about things other than kids, money, or work.

Anyway, this was a very random, rambling blog post. I should get some sleep while I have a chance. Or, maybe I should do some work? No, sleep!:-) Good night!

Beautiful Girl, 1 month old!

 

What are the Ramsey's up to?

Hello wonderful family and friends!

We have been living in St. Louis for nearing on 2 months now. Wow, I can't believe it! Sophie will be a month old on Sunday which is totally crazy to me! She gets more beautiful every day. And, Max of course gets cuter everyday too!

Well, if everything goes through, as of September 26th we will no longer be homeowners! Please keep the closing of our house in your prayers as it is a little stressful! But, we are so grateful for it selling so quickly. God is so good.

Originally our plan was to stay with my Grandma until our house sold and then rent something while we pay off our debt and then save for a downpayment on a new house. Well, we thought it would take a lot longer to sell our house. And, we are loving living here (I think my Grandma is enjoying it too). So, as long as everyone is happy with the arrangement we are going to keep living here for the next 8-10 months I am thinking. That way we don't have to rent and we can go ahead and buy a house as soon as we have enough money saved. And, we should be able to buy a fairly decent house that we will be able to stay in for quite awhile! We are so blessed that this situation has presented itself. My Grandma is so amazing for keeping us! We love her!

So, that is our plan! As always, we love to hear from everyone whenever you get the chance!

Thinking about our finances

This morning I was up nursing Sophie and I was flipping through the channels and I came to Joyce Meyers show and she had the guy from Crown Financial Ministries on. Dave Ramsey has spoken highly of Crown Financial before so I was interested to listen. Crown's plan is a lot like Dave's but is more spiritually based. Anyway, as I was listening to the conversation between Joyce and this guy a statement really spoke to my heart...

"You need to do what you can and then God will do what you can't."

It was so simple but totally made me stop and think. When it comes to my finances am I doing everything that I can to make my financial situation better? Or, am I expecting God to just jump in and do things for me so that I don't have to make sacrafices? It would be so much easier to keep living the lifestyle I want and have God swoop in and miraculously take care of our debt and savings for a new house and retirement and college, etc. When I sit down to think about it I realize how rediculous that is! This was such a good reminder for me!

We have been doing so much better with our finances since we moved but I know that there is always room for improvement. We hardly ever eat out anymore (but there is still more room to cut some out). But, even with that small change it is amazing how much money we saved last month! Wow! Even when we were being "good" we were wasting so much money. I also used to go out to lunch several times during the week. Since we have lived here I haven't gone out to lunch during the week at all and that has also made a huge difference!

I am also learning so much more about the silly things I was spending money on before we moved. Since we are living with my Grandma right now I don't have a house to decorate or extra places to put things that I don't need so I don't buy those things. It is amazing the little things I would pick up at the store that would really add up. A candle that is on sale or pillows are no longer a temptation.

Anyway, I guess the whole "point" of my rambling is that I am still not convinced I am completely doing my part to attain the financial freedom that I believe God desires for His people. I am praying today that God will reveal to me other areas I need to be making changes in my money management. I am so thankful that we serve a God that does lead us and does provide for us in so many ways, even in our finances. I pray that I will be faithful with what God gives me and that I will be doing everything I can!