I am not in charge of God!

During my quiet time today I was reading in 2 Chronicles. I have to admit... I struggle with the Old Testament. And, please don't think less of me, I tend to really wonder if it has any application to my life... afterall, it's all about me, right (wink, wink). But, today, God really spoke to me through the Old Testament and through Jehoshaphat defeating Moab and Ammon. I won't tell you the whole story but specifically I was reading in 2 Chronicles chapter 20 (mainly vs. 14-25). And what I learned through reading today is that I am not in charge of God.
So often a circumstance comes up in my life and I "do the good thing" and pray about it. But, sometimes, my prayers are honestly mislead. Because, instead of crying out to God and praising Him for who He is... I tell him the problem and what needs to happen to solve it. But, what if those prayers have been keeping me from God's blessings? What if God's solution was better than mine? Chances are it would be...He is the creator of the universe! He might have some insight or wisdom that I don't!!
So, from now on I want my prayers to be less of a to-do list for God and more of a praise to Him. He knows what I need and He knows where I am at. He wants to hear what I am feeling... but He doesn't need help answering my prayers. I want to give God room to do His will in my life and not my own will! So next time I feel the need to pray about God delivering me from, say, physical pain, maybe I should just say, "God, I am in pain. I don't like it. Please do Your will in me through this and help me to have Your peace throughout this time." Instead of, "make me feel better immediatly!" Because who knows how He might choose to use pain or any other rough time.
Anyway, I hope this rambling has made sense. It is sometimes hard to put God's amazing teaching into words! But, I guess what I am saying is, I am not in charge of God and I want to try to put that into practice more in my everyday life! And instead of telling God what to do, I want to go into hardships proclaiming, "Give thanks to the Lord, for his love endures forever!" just like Jehoshaphat's men did as they headed into battle.

Roll to the Middle

There are so many couples I know that are getting divorced right now and my heart just aches for them. I can't help but wonder how they were feeling on their wedding day, most likely full of hope and joy for their future with the love of their life. I know that is how I felt. And, I can't imagine how they feel when their fairytale falls apart. I am not going to pretend for a minute that my own marriage has been a perfect fairytale full of breakfasts in bed, hand holding over candlelit dinners, and dancing around to no music by the fire... In fact, there were days when marriage was just plain hard work! Nothing glamerous about that! But, how could becoming one with a completely different person be anything but hard work! It is through God's grace that it is even kind of magical and wonderful!
I have always been so inspired by the music of Sara Groves. Her honesty and love for the Lord is so amazingly evident throughout her music. One song of hers in particular really touches my heart when I think about marriage. The song is entitled, "Roll to the Middle":

We just had a World War III here in our kitchen
We both thought the meanest things
And then we both said them
We shot at each other till we lost amunition

This is how I know our love
This is when I feel it’s power
Here in the absence of it
This is my darkest hour
When both of us are hunkered down
And waiting for the truce

All the complicated wars
They end pretty simple
Here when the lights go down
We roll to the middle

No matter how my pride resists
No matter how this wall feels true
No matter how I can’t be sure
That you’re gonna roll in too
No matter what, no matter what
I’m going to reach for you

I find so much comfort in knowing that no matter what happens, my husband and I are commited to coming back together and working it out. I feel such peace in knowing that we will both always roll to the middle.

Advice

I have been so blessed in my life to have so many wonderful godly people in my life. God has put so many women in my life who have taught me so much and given me such valuable support and love. I love having women I can ask many questions and get advice from.
However, sometimes I struggle because I feel like there are so many people just perched waiting to give me advice. I don't mean this in a disrespectful way, but often these are people that I really don't want advice from. Why would I want parenting advice from people with out of control children or marriage advice from people in unhappy marriages? I appreciate so much that people want to help but I often don't know what to say. Often the advice I receive is something I don't agree with or that is biblically unsound. I have often attempted the "smile and nod" but then the people usually are offended when I don't take their advice or keep offering the same advice until I just want to scream!
I don't want to sound like I am a know it all or think I have it all figured out because that is so far from the truth. I know that there is so much I still have to learn and I welcome sound advice and direction. I love being a wife and mother and I always want to be striving to be better in those areas. I love in the Bible when older women are directed to train the younger women to, "love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of god." Titus 2:4-5. I know that I need training!
But, I just want to be able to receive unbiblical advice graciously but honestly. I don't want to be deceitful just to make people happy or not hurt someone's feelings. I want to be able to declare God's truth in all situations, even when someone is older than I am. But, I want to always be respectful and loving.
If you are reading this please pray for me in this area! I need all the help I can get!

As a general rule I like to use my blog to talk about meaningful things. However, today, I will make an exception. Today I will be using my blog to talk about how much I hate vinyl/lenolium flooring (for those of you that have such flooring and actually like it... I appologize, but I have to be honest!) So here we go...
I hate vinyl flooring! The only place I have it now in my house is in the bathrooms, which I must say is a huge improvement. But, still, I have some. And I hate it! I will make a list of the main reasons...
1. It never looks clean!
2. It is hard to clean.
3. On the off chance it is clean it still looks cheap
4. It gets damaged easily
5. It is bad for the resale value of a house
6. It is ugly... all versions... I have never seen attractive vinyl flooring
There we go... these are my reasons for hating it. The reason I am writing about this today is because my wonderful husband is going to help me paint and spruce up our bathrooms, which I am totally thrilled about! But, although the bathrooms will look much better and be much prettier, they will still have vinyl flooring. Which I suppose is just the cross I will have to bear (overly dramatic I know) for about another year or so when I plan to replace them with tile!

Blessed

I feel so blessed to have such amazing, Godly girlfriends in my life. Tonight I went to dinner with my friends Sarah, Christina, and Christy to celebrate my birthday and I am just feeling so refreshed! Each of those women is so special to me and have played such a special role in my life and getting together with them is just so comfortable and fun! We laughed way too much and probably talked too loud, but we had a great time! I really feel like I have a family in these women and it is so precious to me.
Thank you girls so much for making me feel so special and loved! I think 24 is going to be a great year with you all in my life! Thank you God for blessing me so abundantly when I am so far from deserving it! You give me exactly what I need, exactly when I need it. You are so good!

The Best Day

I had the best day today! I just had to write about it...
We woke up and went to church where we had such an amazing time. We had a great Sunday School lesson that met us right where we were at. I love it when that happens. It was about forgiveness which is one thing I definetly need to work on. Then in church we had a lesson about priorities and making our priorities God's priorities which I think I really needed to hear. Sometimes I feel a little, well, unimportant being a stay-at-home mom and then I remember... God wouldn't have me anywhere else. My job is important! Church was also amazing because I got to spend it with two of my best friends, Sarah and Christy. We even all sat next to each other in church which was so special and fun.
Then Nick, Max, and I spent the afternoon cleaning which I know doesn't sound fun... but it was a blast! Nick and I included Max in everything we did and it was so fun to watch him work alongside us. It is so amazing the things he is capable of. And, yeah, everything took twice as long, but it was so worth it!
Then this evening we had a super fun Super Bowl party!! The Jordan's, The Leesman's, The Hatfield's, Paul Bowen, and Abdellah (a cool Moroccan friend of the Hatfield's) all came over. We had so much fun laughing and chatting. I have never enjoyed the Super Bowl so much!
Nick and I were talking earlier today and we just feel so increadibly blessed by our friends and our church home. For awhile we thought about moving, which we will if it is God's will for us in the future, but we are so happy living in Nixa/Springfield. We have built an amazing family of friends that we share life with and we are so grateful for that! We are so blessed to have such increadible people in our lives!
Then tomorrow I get to wake-up and hang out with my little boy and then spend some amazing time with my other best friend in the whole world, Christina, and her precious daughter Maddie. What more could a girl ask for?
Anyway, I just had to share!