My Mom

I just have to take a few minutes and talk about how much I love my mom! She is just the most amazing mom ever and I feel so blessed by her!

I have always been close to my mom. But since having children I feel even closer to her. She loves me and my husband and my children so much. She is so supportive of me and everything that I do. One thing that I have come to appreciate so much, especially since becoming a mom, is that my mom doesn't tell me what to do. For me, that is huge! If I ask her a question, she will tell me what she thinks. But, even then follows it by... but I'm not sure, maybe you should ask your pediatrician. This is just so important for me because it makes me feel like she thinks I am a good mom. She trusts my judgment and she believes in me. When I am having a problem with discipline or something she is so amazing. She listens to the problem, talks with me about what I think I should do (never telling me what I should do)and then is my biggest cheerleader! She is there totally just there for support and encouragement.

Now that we live so close I just feel even more blessed by my mom. I still talk to her on the phone at least once a day and now I get to see her a few times a week. I am so grateful for her amazing relationship with my kids. She loves them so much and they love her so much. For Max, going to Grandma and Grandpa's house is the best thing in the entire world. He lives for it! And it makes me so happy that we are able to really help foster that relationship more now that we live closer.

Later today we are headed to Mom and Dad's to help them decorate for Christmas and our whole family is just so excited! Mainly, just to spend time together! So, all I can say is, I love my Mom! And I hope I can be as good of a mom as she is one day!

thoughts from James

The book of James is one of my favorite books in the Bible. There is so much wisdom inside this tiny book. And one thing I love most about it is that this book contains some of the "hard stuff". It talks about the things we in the modern church struggle through the most. Issues like trials, favoritism, faith vs. deeds, taming the toungue, suffering, submission, ect. Everytime I read through James I feel such conviction!

One section in James that really stands out to me is a discussion on boasting about tomorrow. It says:
Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes

We can be so full of ourselves! We can think we know what will happen in our lives! We make all of these big statements which may or may not be true. I love reading this section because it reminds me that God should be acknowledged in all that we do and all that we want to do. In some ways I believe that God has allowed this rough economy to teach all of us this lesson. We do not get to decide our tomorrows.

Quick Vent

Okay, I really hate to use my blog for negative things, but I have to vent for a second! Writing things down is the best form of getting feelings out for me, so here we go....

I sometimes think people don't think being a stay at home mom is a real job! People seem to expect me to just do whatever they need because obviously, I have so much extra time because I am home all day. I would venture to say that I have LESS time since I stay at home all day. When I was going to school I had the opportunity to have 5 or 10 minutes by myself before class to return phone calls or do quick paperwork. Or, I could easily run an errand on my way to or from class because I was all by myself. Now, I don't have the time to do those things. I mean, chances are I will get the time sometime during the day, but I have no idea when that will be. And, there is no gurantee! Infact, the only reason I am getting to type this right now is because I am listening to my poor little girl cry and fight a nap in her crib. Which, as any mother who has let her baby cry it out knows, is heart wrenching!

I know, it is really my issue. I need to set better boundaries with people. I need to learn to say "no". But, I am a people pleaser and that is really hard for me. So, for now, I will just vent about it:-)

I absolutely LOVE being a stay-at-home mom. But, I will not sugar coat it... it is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life! And, if you don't think it is a real "job" feel free to come try it out for the next 72 hours and then let me know what you think!

What the world tells me I should be...

Some days I feel like the world is just screaming at me! "Be an independent, career minded woman! Put yourself first! If you don't feel head over heals in love with your husband today, move on! Your children will be just as happy in daycare 60 hours a week as they will be at home! Buy what you want now and pay later! You deserve it! You deserve it! You deserve it!"

Well, guess what world, I don't deserve ANYTHING! I am a sinner saved by grace and everything given to me is so much more than I could ever begin to earn myself! God has blessed me so lavishly that I can't even wrap my mind around it!

I feel comfortable sharing what is on my mind today because almost everyone (that I know of) that reads this blog is a like-minded Godly women! And, I know that you all share my heart for being a woman who is pleasing to the Lord.

As I was putting away laundry today I just had a total feeling of joy come over me as I put my husband's socks in his drawer. Okay, now before you stop reading and call the nearest mental institution to see if you can have me commited, let me finish! I get so much joy out of helping my husband! I think I feel so much joy doing it because it is what God created me to be, a helpmeet to my husband! I love getting to take care of him and make his life easier. I love helping him succeed in every way possible! I love that I get to take part in who he becomes!

And you know what is weird to me is that I don't feel the need to "make a name" for myself! When people only know me as "Nick's wife" it brings a smile to my face! I am happy to be known as his wife and associated with him! I love that when we got married God made us into one! It gives me such peace and happiness.

Now, this isn't to say that I don't enjoy a little time to myself! I love it! But, I also love coming back together again! I am so blessed to be able to stay home and work at being a helper to my husband. I love that he entrusts me with the responsibilities of raising our children, handling our finances, and running our home. I know that he totally trusts me and I love taking care of these things for our family!

This might be coming out a little 1920's housewife. If a feminist is reading this she is probably ready to jump through the screen and smack some sense into me. Sorry! It is just how I feel! I LOVE taking care of my husband and helping him succeed. I LOVE taking care of my children and helping them succeed. Some days it is so hard I just want to sit on the floor and cry because I haven't gotten a minute all day to go to the bathroom by myself. But, even on those days I am grateful!

I am so grateful that I know who Christ is and that I can feel peace in being pleasing to Him. I know that the world sees my life as boring. I know that people in our world would say, "you have a degree, go use it!" Well, if I have it my way, I will NEVER use it! I believe that the greatest thing I can do with my life is be a helper to my husband throughout our entire lives! I love that he doesn't have to worry about laundry and housework because I take care of it during the day. I love that he can spend his time doing the "man work" when he is at home, OR just spending time with our family!

I hope I have expressed my emotions clearly! It can be hard sometimes when you are so passionate about something!

But, I am just feeling so blessed today that I had to share!

Heavenly Father, Please help me to be a woman who is pleasing to you! Help me to ignore what the world says I should be because my hope is not in this world, it is in You. Help me to serve my family with a joyful heart and to feel fulfillment through that. Help me to seek You in all that I do. Amen!

And just when you want to give up...

God gives you the answers you were looking for!

A lot of you know we have been searching for a church home since we moved here. I think everyone knows how stressful and hard that can be. We went to a lot of really awesome churches and listened to some amazing preachers. But, we just weren't finding a church where we fit. We believe that one of the main reasons to go to church is fellowship with other believers but a lot of the churches we visited didn't have Sunday school classes. Some of them had small groups but most didn't offer childcare so there was no way for us to be involved there.

Well, the first week we tried a church we went to the First Baptist Church of Wentzville. We just went to the service and about half way through they paged us that Max was having a hard time in the nursery so we left early. We thought the church was okay. The music was fine but the church was pretty traditional overall without all of the bells and whistles and "cool" style we had gotten used to at James River in Ozark. So, we kind of let it go. A week after attending we got a call from a Sunday school teacher inviting us to come back and visit their class and a call from the church asking if the pastor could come visit us. We said no to both requests thinking we would keep looking. So, we starting going to more "contemporary churches". We went to some really good ones! But, like I said, they just didn't seem to fit us! So this week I got a letter in the mail from the Baptist church inviting us to take their class to learn more about the church. I asked Nick if we could try going again just to see. No other churches had reached out to us at all and this one had reached out to us several times!

So, this morning we got up early and made the decision to go to Sunday school and church. We checked the kids into the nursery and went to the Welcome Desk to get directions to a Sunday School class. Some very nice men reccomended a class and walked us to it. We were immediately greeted and welcomed by several members of the class. Most of the class members were quite a bit older than us (people always think Nick is older than he is because of his lack of hair!) But, wow everyone was so warm and welcoming. Then we actually learned in Sunday school! Everyone participated in the lesson and I could tell I was in a room full of people passionate about the world of God. I am sure Nick and I looked like total dorks because we were sitting there with the hugest smiles on our faces! Then after class several other people welcomed us and talked with us for awhile. The lady I sat next to and chatted with was super nice. She ended up sitting next to us during the service and afterwards she gave me her contact information and said she would love to help in any way and get to know us better! (Yay, I maybe made my first friend in St. Louis!)

Then after church we met up with my mom and grandma for lunch at Arby's. As we were eating the teachers of the Sunday school class we attended stopped by because they recognized us. After we ate and my mom and grandma left they came and sat down with us and just made us feel so welcome! Then they gave us their contact information in case we needed anything! (They are a really sweet older couple).

Anyway, I know that was a really long boring story! But, I have just been praying for someone to reach out to us and today so many people reached out to us and made us feel so welcome. It was also neat to see a really traditional church so on-fire for the Lord and so excited about His Word! They also have lots of things for us to get involved in which makes me very excited!

Anyway, I just want to thank you all so much for your prayers during this journey! Nick and I are both feeling so good tonight and both agree today was one of the best days we have had since coming to St. Louis! (Next to the day Sophie was born of course!)

Counting my blessings...

I am just having one of those days where I just feel out of sorts. We are back on the search for a church home again and I am getting antsy to buy a house. But, instead of venting about those things and the other things that are bugging me, I have decided to talk about the things I am so blessed by right now!

Yesterday and today we were so blessed by a visit from our wonderful friends Christy and Andrew Hatfield. Christy has touched my life in so many ways and Andrew has been a great friend to Nick. Andrew and Christy are preparing for the arrival of their first baby in January and are preparing to enter the mission field in August. They are so special to us and it was so wonderful to spend some quality time with them. We are so excited for the work the Lord has prepared for them and the adventures that lay ahead. Christy was such a wonderful encouragement to me. Moving here and getting adjusted has been hard but Christy has helped me make the transition so much easier. She has been such a great listener and prayer warrior for me and I am so grateful to have her in my life! I will miss getting to see her and having her just a phone call away. But, she will still be just an e-mail away and I am grateful for that.

Another thing I have been so grateful for today is my wonderful parents. Max was asking all day if he could go and see Grandpa. Their relationship just warms my heart so much. My dad was a great dad but I have never considered him much of a kid person. But, Max and my dad adore each other! They already have so much fun together and I am so excited to see all of the fun "manly" things they do together in the years to come. Living close to my parents has blessed us in more ways than we can count. I am so excited that our children will have such a close and special relationship with extended family. And I am so grateful that my husband loves it as much as I do. I think for some men hanging out with his inlaws all the time could be a real drag, but Nick has expressed that he loves it and that it means so much to him too! Nick often initiates going out to my parent's house or planning something to do together and I just love that!

And, I just can't help but be so grateful for my own little family. All I have ever wanted to be since I was a little girl was a mom and wife. God has blessed me so abundantly through my amazing husband and children. Nick wasn't a super "romantic" guy when we were dating and when we first got married. But, lately, he has really changed on that one! On Tuesday this week he brought me home flowers to celebrate the anniversary of our first kiss! How many men remember that date? He has also been so sweet lately about writing me love e-mails and even just saying romantic things! I feel so loved by him! And, of course a day doesn't go buy that I am not grateful for my beautiful children! We love them so much.

Anyway, it is 4:12am right now and I think Sophie is finally settling back down (she was wide awake for some reason and I couldn't get her back to sleep so I have been letting her swing for a little bit!) so I am going to try to get her to sleep in her crib and I am going to try to get some sleep!

Boys Should Be Boys

I am reading one of the most exciting books I have read in a long time (and not just because most of the books I read only have about 2 words per page and I have a wiggly 2 year old shouting out each word while sitting on my lap!) I am reading "Boys Should Be Boys" by Meg Meeker. Meg Meeker wrote an amazing book about girls, "Strong Fathers Strong Daughters" that was also increadible.

I am having so much fun reading this book because I don't know anything about boys! I grew up with just a sister and my mom grew up with 3 girls in her home so we have always had kind of a "girl family". Nick is actually learning a ton from it too because although he grew up as a little boy he grew up sitting in front of video games pretty much all the time which is one of the main things the book says we need to keep our precious boys away from.

A few generations back boys were encouraged to totally just be boys. Their moms would send them outside right after breakfast to play and they would find other little boys to play with and together they would build treehouses, shoot sling shots, catch frogs, and form their own little groups by taking leadership roles and figuring things out on their own. They would stay outside all day until their moms called them in for dinner.

Today, we can't let our little boys out all day. Our world is too scary. But, Dr. Meeker suggests that what we have started doing is totally harming our son's masculinity. We plug them into electronics to keep them out of our hair. For boys, these electronics can be very addicting and lead to a host of problems in their lives. Other moms choose to hyper schedule their little boys to "keep them busy" so they are put into every activity under the sun. But, neither of these things give boys what they really need. They need to be outside playing. And, they need to be in charge of setting the rules, making up the games, etc. As parents we are so quick to micro-manage our kids games. But, what boys need is the freedom to set their own rules when playing. Grown-ups need to back off and stay away sometimes! So, we as parents need to help nurture these desires and needs in our sons.

That is only a small portion of the book, but I loved it so much because honestly it was kind of brand new information to me! I want to raise a man who loves the Lord and a man of integrity. This book speaks on that in so many ways and I am so glad to have found it. Right after Max was born several people told me to read "Bringing up Boys" by Dr. Dobson. Sorry to you Dr. Dobson fans out there, but the book just left me a little disheartened about raising a boy. This book has helped me to be excited about Max getting older!

Anyway, I am not totally finished with the book (although I got the book yesterday and am almost there!) but I highly reccomend it to anyone with a little boy. Our son's masculinity is at risk in our society and we as mother's need to step up and protect it. And, if you have a daughter I can't say enough about "Strong Fathers Strong Daughters". Even though I am a girl that book changed my life and the way I think about raising girls!

Be blessed today... I am going to go read some more before the kids wake up:-)

Making history

I had been hesitant to comment on politics here. But, this morning I thought, "hey, it is my blog! I can write what I want" So, I think I will!

In yesterday's election I voted for John McCain. I didn't vote for him because I am a huge fan, although there is a lot I do like about him. I voted for him because I didn't want Obama to win. The main reason I didn't want him to win was because I am a capitalist to the core and I hate socialism. I do not believe in "spreading the wealth". I have always believed in the American Dream that if you work hard you can achieve anything you want. But, you have to do the work. I think that robbing from the rich to give to the poor hurts everyone. Rich people are having money that they earned taken away from them and the poor are given a handout taking away from them the right to work hard and have a sense of achievment.

Now, before I sound insensitive I do believe in helping the poor. Infact, God tells us to give to the poor. But, I don't agree with the way the government does it. I have known too many people living off of their government checks sitting at home watching their big screen tvs and playing their playstations. But, I have also seen amazing organizations help the poor. I have seen them give to them when they are down and help them rebuild their lives and become self-sufficiant again. I think that is what we should be doing. And I think it is what we should be doing by choice, not by government mandate!

I strongly believe in less government not more. So, obviously, there is no way I could have voted for Obama.

But, with that being said, I am so excited that our country nominated an African-American president. I love that my children will get to grow up in a country where that is possible and I hope that it helps our nation grow even further away from our sad history. I hope that it helps my children to grow up in a generation that says we are all created equal and know it!

I am very dissapointed that Obama won because of his economic policies. And, I am a little nervous about our economic future as a country because of that. However, instead of complaining about it, I am choosing to accept Barack Obama as our next president. I love America and I intend to stand behind my president. God is not suprised that Barack Obama is the president-elect today. And, because I serve a mighty God I will sleep peacefully at night knowing that He is in control!