Enough is enough!

Can you believe some moms feed their children candy before breakfast? And some moms let their children watch TV everyday! And some of these same moms let their babies cry it out before bed!

Okay, I am sorry, but enough is enough! We as moms have got to chill out! I have heard of several moms in the past few weeks having "mini breakdowns" because of all of the pressure they feel to be a good mom. In the desire to be the best mom, moms across the country are spending hours making homemade baby food, using Clorox wipes on every inch of their home, arranging play dates and activities for their children, co-sleeping with their babies and children, wearing them in slings all day so that they don't cry and can feel bonded, and spending every waking hour trying to be the best mom and not neglect any of their childrens needs. And of course, making sure to spend time putting down moms that do not do things the exact same way they do!

We have got to stop! Sisters, our God has called us to a life of freedom in Him! Not bondage to our children! Yes, I do think it is important to be a good mom. But, what makes a good mom?

I am sorry, but children are not going to be seriously harmed by occassionally spending a day in front of the TV! And they are not going to spend years in therapy because their mother let them cry for a few minutes in their high chair while she finished her coffee! And you have got to be kidding me if you think your 1 year old needs a playdate to learn social skills! If you want to go on playdates, DO IT! But, do it because YOU want to and not because you will be harming your child's future if you don't! Sure it is good to have your children out but they will get that at church and other events. Don't stress yourself out about it!

We are not harming our children by not being perfect moms. But, I think we might be harming them in our obsession to try! Sisters, I write this because I am one of the moms who has tried to be perfect and I have FAILED! And I am DONE!

Instead of spending time researching whether letting my children cry it out at night will emotionally damage them for life, I am going to go with my gut and spend those hours playing trains with my son. Instead of freaking out about making a perfectly balanced meal on those really busy days I am going to drive through McDonalds and then spend that hour singing to my daughter. And instead of feeling that the only way to be a good mom is to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with my kiddos I am going to call a sitter and spend the evening gazing into my husband's eyes over a dinner that I can eat hot! And instead of judging other moms for doing things differently than I do I am going to spend time building Godly friendships and living in the joy of the salvation I have been given!

Sisters, lets use God's measuring stick instead of our own. If you need it to measure how you are doing as a mom go ahead... it is the cross. And on it we are given His grace! If we are in relationship with the Lord and live our lives in His grace we are going to be good moms. Maybe not the best... maybe our kids will still refuse to eat broccoli, still throw tantrums in public, and still pick their nose and flick it. And while it would be best to try to accomplish these earthly goals, let us not spend all our time trying to be the perfect mom, but instead spend time teaching our children about the Perfect love of Christ and being a living example of His love and grace to our children. If we can do this we will recieve the fruits of His spirit and we will be good moms!

Am I ready??

So, this is SO silly! But I am totally freaking out! I am signing Max up for Mom's Day Out one day week next school year. It is like preschool and he would go from 9-2 every Monday. I am really doing it for him and not for me. Max is SO smart and just amazes me everyday. But, he is definetly a 2 year old and does not like being told what to do or really having "structure". I really want to transition him very easily into school and preschool so I feel like a one day a week class would be really good for him.

But, it is also hard for me! He is my little baby and thinking of him being away from me a good chunk of the day one day a week is hard! He is away from me at church and Bible study, but we are in the same building!

Max is kind of a challenge for me! He is just so smart (like his Daddy) and I just have a hard time understanding him sometimes! He is very concrete and things are supposed to be a certain way. He learns quickly. He already knows several different types of dinosaurs and can pronounce their long names easily and he is just facinated by animals. But, if I am trying to teach him or talk to him about something he doesn't want to learn he just won't do it! I really want to work with his strengths and help him in the areas he needs help in order for him to be successful!

Please just pray for me that I will be a good mom for Max! He is a strong willed, very bright little boy and I want to help him be successful!

Hit by a brick!

Do you ever have one of those moments where you feel like all of the sudden you were hit in the head with a brick? Okay, not in the literal sense! But, when you are sitting in church, listening to a speaker, reading a book, talking to a friend, etc, and something is said to you that just totally hits you! You just have a GIANT ah-ha moment and everything you have always struggled with seems to make sense!!

I took a brick to the head last night! I was at the Sacred Romance class I am taking with my cousin at her church. The speaker was talking about the lies we believe about ourselves. I don't remember exactly what she was saying, but she then said, "I realized I believed in God but I wasn't believing God." Oh, Sisters, how that spoke to my heart!! That is me! I believe in God with my entire heart and soul!! But, I don't always believe what he says... especially what he says about me and what he will do for me.

Later in the class this poem was read based on God's word. It is long but worth reading. Let me share it here with you!

My Child... (God's words to us)
You may not know Me, but I know everything about you.
I know when you sit down and when you stand up.
I am familiar with all your ways.
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
For you were made in My image.
In Me you live and move and have your being.
I knew you even before you were conceived.
I chose you when I planned creation.
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in My book.
You are extraordinarily and wonderfully made.

I have been misrepresented by those who don't know Me.
I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
And it is My desire to lavish My love on you
simply because you are My child and I am your Father.
Every good gift that you receive comes from My hand.
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
My plan for your future
has always been filled with hope.
Because I love you with an everlasting love.
My thoughts toward you
are countless as the sand on the seashore.
And I rejoice over you with singing.
I will never stop doing good to you.
For you are My treasured possession.
I desire to establish you
with all My heart and all My soul.

And I want to show you
great and marvelous things.
If you search for Me with all your heart,
you will find Me.
Delight in Me
and I will give you the desires of your heart.
For it is I who gave you those desires.
I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
For I am your greatest encourager.

I am also the Father
who comforts you in all your troubles.
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you.
As a shepard carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to My heart.
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes.
I'll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.

I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love My Son, Jesus.
For in Jesus, My love for you is revealed.
He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
His death was the ultimate expression of My love for you.
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love.
If you receive the gift of My Son Jesus, you receive Me.
And nothing will ever seperate you from My love again.

If you are interested I have the corresponding verses to each of those lines. I know we all here believe in God. But, do you believe this? God tells us these things in His word. We KNOW it is all true. But, do we believe what He is saying. I know that my life would look very different if I lived each day as if I truly believed these things were true!

Update!

Okay, I hope this is not a premature celebration... but I think we are totally back in the swing of things with breastfeeding! She had about 1-2 ounces of formula yesterday and other than that it was all breastmilk. I think today we are going to try to go 100% breastfeeding. She is back to prefering the breast to the bottle too which is great.

The only downside is... she eats a lot in the middle of the night! I was told by several people that to get supply back up to let her nurse as often as possible and that it is easiest to get supply back up at night when things are quiet and dark. So! She is up several times during the night nursing! But, I honestly would rather be up in the middle of the night if it means I can give her the best thing for her. However, over the next few weeks I will be working towards getting her to eat more during the day and trying to encourage her to eat less at night. Everything is a process!

But, I am just so excited. A lot of prayer and some hard work has really paid off! Yay God! I am glad all of those DISGUSTING milk production drops, tons of bowls of oatmeal, and several cups of mother's milk tea have had a purpose!

my new favorite blog

So, I have been scouring this new blog I found today, http://www.passionatehomemaking.com/
Nutrition and healthy living are my current obsessions and this blog is all about doing those things for the glory of God! I love it! I am a little overwhelmed by all of the awesome information on this blog but I am excited about making small changes which will lead to bigger changes! If you get a chance, check out this blog!

Brought to you by the letter K

Thank you Sarah for the letter assignment, here is how it works

If you want to participate, leave a comment on this post and I will assign you a letter. You then write about 10 things you love that begin with your assigned letter and post them on your blog. When people comment on your posted list, you give them a letter and the chain continues on and on.

Kisses I love kisses! Mainly from my hubby! I just can't get enough of them!

Kids I love kids! Mostly my own... but a few other people's too!

Karats I love diamonds... and the bigger the better is my policy on those!

Kitchen gadgets I love to cook and really enjoy getting new gadgets to use!

Knowledge Dorky I know but I love learner. I am a firm believer that God created us to be lifelong learners!

Kirklands I really love the store Kirklands. I hardly ever buy things there but I always think it looks so homey in there!

Kiwi I love kiwi! I really love fruit, especially the more exotic ones, apples and bananas get a little boring sometimes.

Korin I love Korin! She and I have been friends since junior high and we can still talk about anything and everything! I love that girl!

Kettles Okay, that is a stretch but I do think tea kettles are fun! And my Grandma has an electric one that I love!

Katie Okay, I had to do it! I love me!

Apology

I feel like I owe the world an apology today! I have been so self-absorbed lately. I think about myself 24/7 these days. I think about my kids, my husband, my income, my future, my family, my feelings, my weight, my tiredness, my insecurity, my blessings... I am OBSESSED! With myself!!

I just feel like I owe this blog an apology. And I feel like I owe God an apology. I know that he cares about me and my feelings and He loves to hear about those things. But, I also know that He is a big God with big love and He wants me to share His heart. His heart for the nations, His heart for the hungry, His heart for the lonely, His heart for the unsaved...

It is so easy to live in my own little bubble. To think about my own needs and desires and plans all the time. But, I feel convicted today and believe with my whole heart that God created me for more than that. He created me to be used by Him. He created all of us that way. And I find myself, even when I am doing things for others, doing them in relation to how they effect me. I am not the center of the story. He is the center of the story.

I've always had this little simile in my head and it is so dorky(you can laugh at me, it's okay), but I have always wanted to look like an arrow. I want when people to see me that they would only see an arrow and as we all know whenever we see an arrow we don't look at it for long but quickly look to see what it is pointing to. I want to be an arrow that points to Jesus. I know that I am so far from this goal/ambition/dream/whatever you want to call it! But, it is the desire of my heart!

So, to try to get closer to that and in attempt to get one milimeter closer to where I should be, I want to apologize! I have been so obsessed with myself that I have been missing the mark as a friend, a mother, a wife, a daughter, and most of all a follower of Christ.

I don't know where that leaves me and where I go from here. But, you know, like they say in AA meetings or someplace like that, that recognizing you have a problem is the first step to recovery!

Father God, Please forgive me for my attitude lately. Forgive me for living in a world of me. A world where I only pray for myself, think about myself, and talk about myself. I know that you have much bigger purposes for me. If You were to use me for nothing else besides being a wife and mother I know you would still want me to think of others constantly and teach my children who you are. Lord, help me to teach my childen about Your heart! Help me to show them the increadible things you do around the world for all people. Help me to not just focus on what you do and are doing for me but to focus on all that you do. To pray for others and to love my neighbor as I love myself. Lord teach me to love you first. Lord teach me to love you the most. Amen.

My scripture memory for the first part of February it Philipians 4:6, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." I am not sure I have ever needed a scripture more! I am so anxious about Nick needing to find a new job soon (he accepted a voluntary lay off at Brown). We have no idea when his last day at Brown will be, it could be tomorrow or it could be 6 months from now! I don't know that I had to ever rely on God so completely for EVERYTHING! He is our ONLY hope right now. And, I am struggling so hard to not be anxious and just sit and worry all day!