In the small things

I just have to take a minute to praise God this afternoon! He is so faithful, even in the small things. Max was having a really rough day today, a combination of not enough sleep and getting molars. He had a major meltdown about every five minutes from about 10a.m. to 12p.m. Normally, this would have me pretty stressed and a little edgy and about ready to call my husband every 5 minutes to ask when he will be home! But, God gave me peace and patience today when I needed it the most! I remained in a good mood the whole time! As my son would throw himself onto the floor I was able to simply smile and either help him with what he needed or if it was really just a tantrum to walk away calmly. It was amazing. And friends, I have to tell you, this was all God! I am NOT a patient person and the sound of my son crying is often enough to put me into some sort of mental institution! I can listen to other people's children cry for hours and remain totally uneffected but when that little boy shows any sign of unhappiness my heart breaks and I am ready to be right there with him until he smiles again!
I am learning to rely on God to meet all of my needs and today I just felt like He was showing me that He is my provider even in the small things! I felt like I received a little love not from my Savior today saying, "You see, you can trust me! You are my child and I will always take care of you when you let me! I am the one thing you can always count on!" Thank you, Lord! I am in awe of who You are!

Priorities

I am currently reading, Marriage on the Rock by Jimmy Evans. I love reading marriage books! I think I have a pretty wonderful marriage but I am so excited by the thought that it can always improve and I love that I have a husband who constantly works with me to make our marriage the best it can be. I am currently reading a chapter on the book about priorities and it has really got me taking a closer look at my priorities in life. The book suggests that our priorities probably should look like this:

1. God - seeking and serving Him personally
2. Spouse
3. Children (if you have any)
4. Church - seeking and serving God together with His Body
5. Extended family and special friends
6. Work and career
7. Hobbies and other interests

I think it is so easy to make our children our main priority because they "demand" it much of the time. But, I don't want to be the kind of mom who is ruled by her children. And, I don't think it would be healthy for them either! So, I am striving to make sure I have my priorities in order! I pray that God will reveal to me any that are out of order!

I have never been unloved

Some days (like today) I just can't wrap my mind around God's amazing love for His children! We saw this video in church a long time ago and I came across it today and couldn't help but be moved again by it! I can relate to every single verse... I have been unteachable, unkind, unemotional, unworthy, etc.! I think we all have! And yet, even when we are at our worst God still loves us.

I think as I get older I am seeing how most people's love is conditional. I always thought that families (parent/child and husband/wife relationships) were based on uncoditional love but I am discovering that even in those relationships unconditional love isn't always there. I believe that I love my husband and son unconditionally... but it is nowhere near God's love!

I don't know. I guess I am just so grateful for God's unconditional love today!

our dream

I am having so much fun exploring the Proverbs 31 woman through "Beautiful in God's Eyes"! I have read the book before but every chapter I read I just sit in awe at all that I am learning, or re-learning. Today I read about finances and how I can play a role in our family. Even if I don't bring in money I can contribute to our family by budgeting wisely and saving where I can. Elizabeth George points out that "a penny saved is a penny earned" and by being in charge of our families finances I can contribute!
I started talking to Nick about what I was reading and it led to a two hour long discussion about our dream home! It was so much fun! Our dream home is probably not fancy or impressive by any standards but it is what we both want for our family! So, we laid out a financial plan and if it is all in God's will we will be able to build that home in about 4 years! 4 years sounds so far and so close at the same time! However, it will require a lot of diligence and wise spending and thoughtful saving, but it is a dream we both share for our family.
We both really want a home that our kids "grow-up" in. So, we want to be able to buy something we can be in until... well, until we are really old! So, our plan is to build a new house which is something I really thought we would never do. But, after talking about it we realized that if we wanted to live in it for our entire lives it might as well be exactly what we want!
Of course, if this is not in God's plans for our family we are 100% okay with that! We will be very prayerful during these next 4 years as we only want our family to be where God wants us! And, who knows where that might be?
So, for now, I have to focus on saving and making every little financial decision with my family's future in mind. But, I believe that that is what the Proverbs 31 woman did with every decision she made! So, I will strive to be more like her! Please pray for me as I try to be a better steward of my family's money and live in a way that is pleasing to God!

the man I love

I know I write a lot about how wonderful my husband is... but, I just can't help it! We have had so many amazing conversations this week and I am just in complete awe of how blessed I am to have him in my life. I can't help but wonder what it is like to be married to someone who isn't totally in love with you. My husband cares so much about me. And, even though he isn't the most traditionally romantic man in the world, he can be so romantic in other ways. His little phone calls, e-mails, or notes just to say "I love you" still make my heart skip a beat. I also love how open and honest he is with me.
The night before last we just had the most amazing talk about family. Nick is so wise when it comes to his family sometimes I am just in awe. Where I would totally cry all the time if I didn't feel loved and accepted by my parents or if they didn't have a close relationship with our son he just sees the good things that God has taught him through it all. He uses negative things in his past for God's glory and instead of pouting about the past he learns from it and uses it to be the best husband and father he can be.
Then last night we had a great talk about faith and prayer and what we want to teach our children about God. I can't imagine being a parent with no greater goal or direction. But, when you know Christ and your desire is to have children with heart's on fire for Him life and parenting has so much more meaning. I am so blessed to have a husband who's main priority is that our children know and love Jesus!
Anyway, I could really go on and on for pages but I won't bore you with the details. I just want to never take my husband for granted (again!). He loves me so much and is truly my best friend in the world. I just can't imagine my life without the man I love...

Waiting on Sophie!

This pregnancy has been so different from my last one! I am enjoying it a lot more! Don't get me wrong, I LOVED being pregnant with Max! But, I was so anxious and worried and in such a hurry for him to get here that I didn't get to just enjoy it! Plus, I was so sick through most of it! This time I feel much better and I have just been enjoying it! Although I am super excited for Sophie to get here I really am in no hurry! She will get here on her own time! Plus, I am way too busy chasing my little guy around to spend much time thinking about it!
We picked the name Sophie Nichole for her which we love! Nichole is after Nick and Sophie we just loved! It was kind of funny how we picked it. We originally made a really long list of girls names... probably about 20 and it was on there but had been vetoed by one of us early on. Then we decided to name her Sadie, which is a name we both really love. The day we found out we were having a girl we were sitting at lunch and Nick says, "so when Sophie gets here..." and I was like, "who?" and he said, "oh, I meant Sadie!" And then we got to thinking... Sophie just sounds right! So, Sophie was decided on! I am sure we will get some negative comments about it like we did with Max but people are just never happy! So, we like the name and that is what matters! If you don't... keep it to yourself!
We are just so excited for her to become a part of our family! We already love her so much!

Revisiting an old friend

Today I started re-reading one of my favorite books of all time... "Beautiful in God's Eyes" by Elizabeth George. I truly believe some books just meet you where you are and this is one that met me right where I was at before Max was born. The book is a closer look at the Proverbs 31 woman which is of course inspiring. But, what I love most about this book is the practical advice. The book is filled with little tips on making your husband and children a priority, making good money decisions, and making your home a haven for your family.
Today when I picked up this book again I had a light bulb moment. I haven't been taking my job as a stay-at-home mom very seriously. Of course Max was one of my main priorities and I was absolutely making time for him and making sure his needs were met. And, of course my husband has remained a priority, but I realized I have not been considering staying home as my "job". I was living most days for my own entertainment, taking time for friends, shopping, and lunches out. But, this afternoon I realized, those things are okay... from time to time. But, they were taking time away from my job! If my house isn't clean, my dinner isn't ready to go on the table, my son on his schedule and doing everything he needs to do in the day, and my Bible study isn't done I have no business going out and playing. I was treating every day as a play day and honestly, I haven't felt very happy or fulfilled. Last week when I followed my dinner menu everyday and cleaning schedule I felt so good about myself. And, I noticed a change in my family's attitude. Nick seemed more relaxed and content in the evening and Max seemed to really enjoy the predictability of each day.
I am just so excited that I have realized what was holding me back from feeling fulfilled as a stay at home mom! I wasn't giving it 100%! Please pray for me as I learn and stumble through this process! I am so blessed to get to be a full time stay-at-home mom and I want to take full advantage of this opportunity! I want to everyday do what is best for my family!
I am sure I will be writing more on this topic as I read more during the next few weeks! So, be ready! Have a blessed day... I have some work to do:-)

Small changes!

Wow, I am really on a roll posting three days in a row! I have had a lot more free time lately so I have been able to write more! It has been so fun. "Katie, why have you had more free time?" you might be asking. Let me tell you... :-)
Somehow, through God's grace I have been much more disciplined this week! Last Saturday I cleaned my whole house and had it completely spotless for Nick's suprise birthday party. Seriously, my house hadn't been that clean since we moved in! I realized I really love having a very clean house! So, I came up with a cleaning schedule (posted here to the side) and I have actually followed through every day! Every night I go to bed with a spotless house and it feels so good to wake up every morning with a fresh start! I clean a little bit throughout the day and then during nap time I do my "big job" for the day. And, somehow, through cleaning more, I have more free time! Or maybe I just feel like I have more free time becuase I don't spend time feeling overwhelmed!
The other thing that might be part of me having more free time is that I have tried to change my driving habits to save money with gas prices being so high. I try to only go to Springfield one or two days a week and I really am already starting to see the money savings. It feels really good! It has been a challenge since I am really a get up and go kind of person and have a hard time being at home, but I am working on it! Which is good because hopefully it will make the transition with the new baby easier if I am already used to spending more time at home! Plus, I know at this age it is good for Max to be at home and get to stick to his schedule.
Anyway, sorry if that was very boring but I just thought I would share what I have been up to!

Oprah's new religion

Wow, I am posting two days in a row! But, I just couldn't help but comment on Oprah's show yesterday and her new "religion" she is promoting. I actually didn't watch much of the show. I had it on but Max woke up from his nap and we were playing and getting the house tidied up so I really just saw what it was about. However, I have read quite a bit on what Oprah is teaching and my heart is just totally broken!
I have always enjoyed Oprah. Her show has always been fun and informative and her love for people and generous giving is truly inspiring. But, I worry about what she is teaching. The world is full of false teachers, but Oprah is just so influential. The average person seems to just believe whatever she says and now they are getting their faith from her too. Plus, with lots of other celebrities jumping on this bandwagon I can't help but worry. People are being told half truths and the word of God is being twisted around. I believe half truths and partial lies are way more dangerous than total lies. People hear something familiar that maybe they heard in church growing up or something that they heard Jesus say and think, "oh, this is what they were talking about!" and are led totally astray.
Anyway, I saw this article and thought it was really interesting! It is by Chuck Norris about Oprah's new faith... check out the entire article at: http://www.townhall.com/columnists/ChuckNorris/2008/03/04/oprahs_new_easter?page=2
One of the quotes I found interesting from the article was, "Like most self-help spiritual texts of this type, it is a blend of half-truths and half-fabrications. One easily could save the purchase price of 'A New Earth' -- and subsequently avoid its misleading remarks -- by reading the Bible, which gives a much more thorough and accurate picture of life's purpose and the methods for overcoming its obstacles.... The reason Tolle's psychology and spirituality is marketed so easily is that it is an eclectic mix of conventional and unconventional wisdom, and Western and Eastern beliefs, presented in a tolerant, non-threatening and nonsectarian way. In other words, it's Religion Light, in which one can be spiritual with little down and no credit."
Anyway, if you all have any thoughts on this I would love to know what you think. For now, I think there is going to be no Oprah show on in our house. Not that I am boycotting her or anything, but I don't want my children growing up seeing Oprah as a familiar face that Mom agrees with. Children pick up so much and I try to be very careful about what is on TV in our home. In closing I guess we all just need to remember what is in God's word in Galatians 1:6-10, 6I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. 8But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! 9As we have already said, so now I say again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned!
10Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is something I have struggled with since becoming a Christian. It is hard to remember and completely wrap my mind around the fact that when I repent I am totally and completely forgiven. And, even with all of God's amazing grace, sometimes I struggle with forgiving others.
For me it is not too difficult to forgive people who hurt me (anymore!). I know I have hurt others and that I am far from perfect. But, where I really am struggling right now is with people who hurt the people that I love. I often feel like "do what you want to me, but if you even think about hurting my husband or son (or friend or family member!)...." How do you go about forgiving those who hurt someone you love so much? Especially when they continue to hurt that person over and over again!
I know that God's grace is sufficient for everyone and that forgiveness is really about me and that by forgiving them I am not letting them off the hook, and.... I KNOW these things in my head! But, it is so hard to put into practice!! It is so hard to not want people to "pay" for what they do.
So, if you are reading this... please pray for me! I don't want to let anyone (especially the person/people I have in mind right now) to get between me and God. I want to be forgiving and loving to everyone and obviously people who are willing to hurt others so much need to see God's love. Pray for me that God will help me to forgive everyday and that He will show me how when I feel like I can't! Please pray that I will remember God's Word which says, "If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand? But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared." Psalm 130:3-4

I could not ask for more...

Last Friday I spent the evening scrapbooking with my friend Christina. Now that we are both full time stay at home moms we have discovered the importance of time away from our children! Our babies are our worlds but we are realizing that we can be much better moms when we have an hour or so a week to miss them! As you can imagine we had a wonderful time with way too much laughing and fun. We got to talking about how we are feeling about the arrivals of our second children and we both became a little overwhelmed thinking about how blessed we are!
I did not come to know the Lord until I was in my third year of college so you can imagine that I made a few poor decisions before coming to know Christ. Not to mention the fact that to this day I am so far from perfect it isn't even funny and I fall so short of God's glory. And yet, He has blessed me with a life of abundance. Sometimes I feel like I have the "perfect life" and I have done nothing to deserve it. Actually, I have done things that should have made me not have the life I do. Yet, God is merciful and like a loving father He chooses to dote on his daughter!
I have a husband who loves me so much! We are truly best friends and spend every day enjoying life together. He works hard to provide for our family and he wants me to stay home and take care of our family because he knows that is what is best for all of us! I have an amazing son who is truly the coolest kid I have ever met. He brings Nick and I such joy! We are learning so much as we train him up in the ways he should go. And then, we are being blessed to have a little girl in August! A little boy and a little girl... the "perfect" family! We have wonderful friends and family, a beautiful home, two cars that work, and I could go on!
I just could not ask for more!! And yet, selfishly, sometimes I do! Our lives are not without some struggles or things God has chosen not to bless us with at this time and despite my abundance of blessings I sometimes feel discouraged or down.
I guess the "moral" of all of this is that I need to change my mindset and focus on who God is and the blessings He does choose to give us. I am for the most part a "positive" person, but I do have my moments of negativity and I want to work on that. I like the way The Message phrases Phillipians 10-14,
"I'm glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you're again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don't mean that your help didn't mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles."
I want to live this way! Lord, please help me to be content in all circumstances! Help me to take all of my thoughts captive so that I can live as You would have me live. Lord, I am so weak. But, You have the power to change me! Through You, anything is possible! Thank you for loving me enough to not settle. Thank you for insisting that I always learn more, work harder, and grow closer to you! Amen.